Like some of the tastiest recipes, the best moments in life have few ingredients.
Savor the simplicity of family and friends. Relish water, sun and trees.
Best when marinated in love and sautéed in the spirit of felicity.
wellness
Remember the Analog
Remember the Analog!
My husband posted this clever and thought provoking statement on Facebook the other morning and it perfectly ties together the theme of this blog which has been bouncing around in my head for weeks.
When contemplating the reasons why I miss the experiences of the 1980s so much, it comes down to some pretty basic things- some simple human needs that that time satisfied for many in my generation.
I often ask, Why do Gen Xers love the Netflix Stranger Things series so much?.
In my first blog on the topic, I discussed four things that the ST characters and plot exemplified:
- Loyalty ( close knit bonds with friends and family)
- Character
- Adventure
- Freedom
Upon further reflection, I realized that these things are all analog and are supported by in-person, live connections and relationships. In short, most analog activities make us happy.
I also discerned that my four reasons where also closely aligned to the five basic human needs outlined in William Glasser’s book “Choice Theory” which are:
- Survival
- Love and Belonging
- Power
- Fun
- Freedom
Choice theory psychology posits that almost all behavior is chosen and we are driven by our genes to satisfy these five basic needs.
I find myself longing for more analog activities like riding bikes, playing board games and socializing with friends because it brings me more joy and relief from the bitter and angry world of social media.
The positive memories of growing up in the 1980s is a safe and happy shelter for many people and this is why period pieces like Stranger Things and GLOW are so popular. Plus, the clothes and the music of the 80s were just so funky and hilarious.
For me, the feeling of being part of a group where I could have free, fun, empowering adventures was an amazingly strong and positive gift that I wish I could replicate in the world today.
So how can we get a piece of that happiness back in our lives without having a TARDIS or a flux-capacitor fitted DeLorean?
Here are some Remember the Analog Ideas:
- Invite friends over to play some non-digital games- D&D, charades, Taboo, Monopoly, Clue, Twister, Catan
- Go bowling
- Ride bikes
- Play musical instruments
- Listen to music
- Lie on a blanket on the ground and look at the clouds- talking about what the shapes look like
- Watch classic movies together- appreciate the artful composition of the shots while noticing (sometimes laughing) at the odd (slow) pacing of the scenes
- Go shopping at the mall
- Practice group yoga on the living room floor
- Tell stories about hedgehogs ( Ernie asked me to add this one)
- Play hopscotch in the driveway
- Do cart wheels in the grass
- Bring out the crayons or pencils and color or draw
- Attend a Toastmaster meeting
- Take an Improv class
- Sit around a campfire and tell stories
- Physical love and intimacy
- Go to a museum
- Group wine and painting events
- Have others over for a home cooked meal
When looking at these activities through a psychological lens- they do seem to satisfy the human needs of Freedom, Fun, Power and Control ( with #19 & 20 clearly being for Survival).
I am a huge fan of the series Stranger Things and GLOW on Netflix and I hope that these thoughts and ideas can help bring you a bit of the fun, happiness and adventure I had growing up in the 1980s.
Words of Wisdom from Pink Floyd
Link to Audio recording of this article
What are we waiting for?
Time is a funny thing. It passes so slowly when we are doing things that are hard, painful or unpleasant. But boy does time pass in the blink of an eye when we experience things that are fun, exciting or pleasurable.
This strange and relative perspective on time has been on my mind a lot lately as I reflect on the frequent news and Facebook posts about friends and family who leave this earth too soon. What about all the things they wanted to do- all the things they had planned but will never have the chance to now?
So as I ponder the idea of our pending expiration date, I ask again- What are we waiting for?
For words of wisdom, guidance and inspiration I went to my iTunes library and fired up one of my favorite bands, Pink Floyd and listened to the great song “Time” from the Dark Side of the Moon album. The lyrics are universal and powerful and include lines such as:
“Every year is getting shorter, never seem to find the time.
Plans that either come to naught or half a page of scribbled lines.”
Live performance of “Time” by Pink Floyd
Yes, time waits for no one and keeps marching on.
The question is – are you doing everything you want to do and are you everything you want to be right now or are you “ waiting for something or someone to show you the way”?
I love Pink Floyd’s message and call to action in “Time” when they warned us “no one told you when to run; you missed the starting gun”.
Well here I am with my starting bell [Ding], prompting you to get started right now with one small step to get you closer to where you want to be or what you want to do.
What are you waiting for?
Ding.
My Compelling Blog: Part 8 (WXYZ)
This is the final post of My Compelling Blog series and the letters are WXYZ.
Words
Xenophile
Yoga
Zest
Words have power.
As a speaker, mentor and now writer, I have a great appreciation for the strength, meaning and impact of words.
How you ever noticed how many quotes, rules and words of wisdom there are that refer to watching what words you use and how you speak?
Be impeccable with your word.- The Four Agreements, Don Miguel Ruiz
Be precise in your speech. 12 Rules for Life, Jordon B. Petersen
Silence speaks when words fail.- Unknown
Xenophile– I like this word better than the more commonly used antonym, xenophobe. A xenophile is a person who has a love of foreign people and cultures. I like that.
My friend Shardul, a xenophile and world traveler
Yoga– Some of my best friends have shared their zest for yoga with me.
Here’s a wonderful quote by Amit Ray that frames yoga and words.
“Exercises are like prose,
whereas yoga is the poetry of movements.
Once you understand the grammar of yoga;
You can write your poetry of movements.”
Zest- I’ll end this compelling blog series like I started it- with great enthusiasm and energy.
My zest for writing and sharing thoughts, ideas and images is what keeps life interesting and I am glad that you have joined me on the journey!
For those of you who love lists, here are the 26 words I have featured in my last 8 blogs:
Action
Bold
Creativity
Don’t
Encourage
Faceplants
Giving
Heroes
Inspire
Just
Keep
Laughing
Molding
Novel
Outlooks
Perspective
Quality
Reputation
Standards
Trust
Unites
Values
Words
Xenophile
Yoga
Zest
My Compelling Blog: Part 5 (MNOP)
Welcome to the Year of the Earth Pig!
This week millions of people around the world celebrated the Lunar New Year. According to the Chinese zodiac, 2019 is the Year of the Earth Pig.
Fun searching on Google tells us that “A pig represents luck, overall good fortune, wealth, honesty, general prosperity, symbolizing a hard working, a peace-loving person, a truthful, generous, patient, reliable, trusting, sincere, giving, sociable person with a large sense of humor and understanding.”
Part 5 of My Compelling blog series continues with the letters MNO & P which stand for Molding Novel Outlooks and Perspectives.
Scroll past the pigs to see some new ideas.
Photo by Steve Smull
Random Thoughts and Suggestions
- Feeling stuck or in a rut? Break out clay, Playdoh or coloring books.
- Listen to Pink Floyd’s Animals album. “Pigs on a Wing” and “Sheep” are two of my favorites songs.
- Read interesting and thought provoking books like:
- Teatime for the Firefly by Shona Patel
- Born a Crime by Trevor Noah
- The Code of the Extraordinary Mind by Vishen Lakhiani
- The Art of Dancing in the Rain by Garth Stein
- Listen to podcasts to get more in depth analysis and nuance an various subjects (Fresh Air, This American Life, Good Life Project).
- Take a different route on your way to work or the grocery store.
- Read Dilbert comic strips.
- Instead of making lofty new year’s resolutions in January- try setting smaller monthly goals and objectives.
- Don’t be afraid to wear silly hats.
- Listen more than you speak.
- Read about another country’s history.
- Take more time to pet your cats, dogs, or other pets.
- Ask a young child what they think about a specific subject.
- Watch classic black and white movies.
My Compelling Blog: Part 4 (JKL)
Life is a crazy rollercoaster and sometimes you just have to laugh at the absolute insanity of it all.
This is why Part 4 of my compelling blog features the phrase “Just Keep Laughing” for the letters JKL. I thought this was more helpful and inspirational than “Just Kidding Loser” or worse yet, the dreaded “Just Kidding LOL”. Is it just me or do you find LOL to be annoying?
My Mom’s favorite express was “Live, Love, Laugh” and I always admired her warm smile and jolly laugh. She had a tough life with many challenges but she never let it get her down.
So when the crazy/mean/rude/obnoxious people in this world start making you feel like your head is going to explode, remember Just Keep Laughing!
Plus, as an added bonus, laughing has many health benefits for you, including:
- Reduces stress hormone levels
- Triggers the release of endorphins
- Increases your creativity
- Works your abs
- Boosts your immune system
- Lowers blood pressure
- Reduces anxiety
- Relaxes you and calms your mood
Photo by Steve Smull
My Compelling Blog: Part 2 (DEF)
Welcome to Part 2 of my Compelling Blog series where the featured letters are D, E and F with the phrase of: Don’t Encourage Faceplants.
Part 1 began with A, B, C: Action, Bold and Creativity.
Here’s an excerpt from a speech I gave on Jan. 29, 2019 at my Toastmaster club’s International Speech contest.
“In these troubling and turbulent times my serious and solemn advice for you is: Don’t encourage faceplants!
Why, might you ask, am I focusing on faceplants? Well for one, faceplants are not fun. In fact, they can be quite humiliating and are often times very painful.
Thus, they should be avoided at all costs!
How do I know this?
Well after 25 years of mountain biking, I’ve taken a tumble or two and lived to tell the tale.
I also believe that many important life lessons can be learned while mountain biking.
I experienced one of these painful lessons many years ago while biking in the mountains of southern California. The Cuyamaca Rancho State Park is a beautiful area and I was enjoying the warm, sunny weather. As a young and inexperienced rider, I was struggling to keep up with the older more skilled cyclists in my group and I fell behind and started to tire. The trail had many climbs, stunning views and numerous fun and swooping descents. But after many miles, I started to lose my confidence in my technical skills. My speed decreased and I lost some of my nerve. And then I came across a new and scary part of the trail- a long, extended rocky stretch. There were big rocks, small rocks and everything in between. My experienced husband glided over the section with ease but at the first sight of the rocks, I seized up inside and slowed to a near stand still. I was pedaling so slowly that my front wheel wedged between two of the larger rocks and I endo-ed onto a huge, flat boulder to my right. I face-planted on my cheek and it cracked. There was a flash of blinding white light and I knew that my ride was over for the day.”
Here are my 3 Tips for a better, smoother ride:
- Don’t let fear, uncertainty or hesitation cause you to stumble or fall. Once you decide to go, commit with confidence and don’t look back.
- Momentum is your friend. Keep your speed up and you will have an easier time of rolling over rocks, obstacles and barriers.
- Keep your eyes ahead on the trail. Focus on where you want to go. Don’t focus on where you don’t want to go. Distractions can be detrimental.
In life, not all the paths we take are smooth, flat and easy. Sometimes the downhills are treacherous and frightening with obstacles and sudden drops offs. Sometimes, the ascents are steep and seem to last forever. Remember to keep moving with your eyes focused on where you want to go and you will dramatically increase your chances of getting there unscathed.
It is my hope that this turbulent tale from the trail can help you remember these tips for a better, smoother ride no matter where the path of life takes you.
What nice genes you have!
We are all going to die.
This seems to be one of the few things that we humans all can agree upon.
Most of us don’t know when and there’s no escaping the fact that we all have an expiration date.
Over the last few years there is increased interest and availability of genetic testing. As a result, the age old debate of Nature vs Nurture is back on the minds of many people.
The idea that my genes can directly impact my health has fascinated me for years. I was a biochemistry major in college and I especially enjoyed my genetics and psychobiology classes.
So here I am, pondering Life and Death. Genetics vs Lifestyle. Accept vs Adjust.
One of my relatives has a saying, “ You gotta die of something, right?”.
I agree and I just wish it would be of something other than cancer or heart disease!
The idea to write this blog came to me a few weeks ago and below is the funny story that first made me laugh and then got me thinking.
It all started when my doctor handed me the results from my genetic screening test. I was relieved to see that it was negative for known mutations that can lead various types of cancer including breast, uterine, colon and ovarian.
In my excitement , I happily shared the news with a few of my family members on Facebook.
In a Private Message to them, I wrote:
Relative 1: Yay!
Me: We have good genes.
Relative 2: Awwww good!
Relative 3: I had good jeans once, I wore them all the time. I wore them while smoking, drinking, eating greasy food. I wore them while working doing all sorts of things like working with chemical solvents, insulation, paints and while cleaning up messes from backed up sewer pipes. So those jean that were once good are now stained torn and thread bare. But such is life. LOL
For many, Such Is Life is a common mindset and attitude. This, along with, Live and Let Live, Don’t Worry- Be Happy, Life is Short are very popular paradigms.
The Genetics vs Lifestyle Debate
My genetic test results combined with the PM response from smart aleck relative #3 got me asking questions like:
How much do genetic factors contribute to cancer?
How much of this dreaded disease if out of our control?
I was surprised when I researched and discovered that only 5-10% of cancers have a hereditary component and that 90-95% of cancers are caused by environmental or lifestyle factors.
The research and evidence indicates that of all cancer-related deaths, 30%-35% are linked to diet, 25%-30% are due to tobacco, 10%-20% are linked to obesity, about 15%-20% are due to infections, and the remaining percentages are due to other factors like radiation, alcohol consumption, stress, physical inactivity and environmental pollutants.
Those statistics shows that a great number cancer risk factors are in our control. But are they really? Control can be a funny thing and isn’t as easy as it sounds.
Realistically, what percentage of Americans really want to, or are able to, limit and regulate what they ingest and how much they move?
I don’t know about you but I love a good, juicy hamburger every now and then.
Accept vs Adjust
Do we simply accept that cancer happens in this toxic world of ours or do we adjust our habits in hopes of preventing or delaying it?
Can a healthy diet and active lifestyle prevent cancer?
In our polluted and stressful world, does any of this really matter?
We are surrounded by environmental pollutants and UV rays everyday, does that extra piece of broccoli really help?
The Good News
Medical studies have shown that yes, you can help decrease your odds of getting cancer through healthy choices and good habits. Knowledge and awareness of the risk factors have increased over the last four decades.
Protection from sun exposure has improved greatly over the last 20 years with increased availability of broad spectrum sunscreen and clothing with UV coverage.
The Bad News
We live in a toxic and stressful world and there are no guarantees in life.
A high percentage of Americans want to enjoy life and eat and drink whatever the hell they want. You gotta die of something, right?
Addictions are real and difficult to overcome. The food and tobacco industries have not helped to reduce in our every increasing desire for sugar, fat, salt and nicotine.
There is a also a mindset battle that pits “modifying lifestyle” against the “live and let live” attitude.
Like most tough questions in life, there are no easy answers.
All I can only do is what’s best for me personally and try to set a good example for others.
I can work to educate and increase awareness.
But no one likes to be told what to do and the appetite for being lectured and harangued is low in these fiercely independent and freedom loving United States.
Everyone has a Choice. We value our personal freedom.
We all make daily decisions on how we want to live and what we put in our bodies.
I have the freedom to live how I want, knowing that it could be positively or negatively impacting my health. It’s nice to have options.
I also have the power to observe what I see and write about it in this blog.
You have the choice to read my words and either ignore them or take action to change something in your life as a result.
Life is short, right?
Calm, Steady and Flying Strong
I cautiously boarded a Southwest Airlines flight from Austin to Phoenix last Thursday, two days after the horrific engine failure that took the life of Jennifer Riordan, a bank executive and mother of two. I quickly found myself a window seat like a normally do but this one was the second row, much closer to the front of the plane than I usually get. I guess more people were choosing aisle seats that week.
The story of the dramatic emergency landing by Navy veteran Tammi Jo Shults captured my attention and made me reflect on what it means to be a hero.
A gift from Angie. Photo by Steve.
The news of the tragic event hit home for me since I have been flying on Southwest in window seats overlooking the engine numerous times this year. The details of how the plane was forced to make a harrowing and rapid descent after one of the engines exploded in midair was chilling to say the least.
Hero is a word that gets used a lot in the news today and is often associated with masculine acts of strength and bravery. Stereotypes and Google images bring up muscled men with capes.
Stereotypes Shattered in desert wars and at 30,000 feet
My experience and observations on the battlefield during the first Persian Gulf war were that the women Army officers and non-commissioned officers (NCOs) I served with in the US Amy were rocks- strong and solid leaders who were calm under pressure and seemingly less agitated than their male counterparts.
Last week, I was most impressed by the calm and collected voice of Southwest Captain Tammi Jo in comparison to the stressed and strained vocals of the man communicating with her from Air Traffic Control. The former F-18 fighter pilot was composed, steady and in control of the situation. Her skill, professionalism and “nerves of steel” were recorded for everyone to hear and I loved it!
And then there was Peggy Phillips, the confidence and self-assured Registered Nurse who performed over 20 minutes of CPR on the battered and severely injured Jennifer Riordan. There was no question, no hesitation- Peggy just launched into action doing what she was trained to do.
When praised and called heroes these woman replied that they were “simply doing their jobs”. These women were doing what they were trained to do, performing at the high standard they set for themselves.
Yes, Tammi Jo and Peggy did their jobs that day with the strength and the skill of true professionals. True heroines who were calm and steady and refreshingly humble.
Imagine a world without heroes. I can’t because I know too many strong, capable women. Women who are Mothers and above all else love, support and nurture their children. Women who make sacrifices to give their families the best that they can.
The Mothers I know may not be piloting a plane in an emergency landing but day in and day out they work their asses off and make a positive difference in their kid’s lives. Just like my Mom did for me and my siblings.
Mothers are Heroes. Women like my Mom, Virginia; my sister, Barbara; my niece, Heather; my sisters-in-law, Shanon and Katie and my dear friends Andrea and Marie. They all have and continue to impress me.
They are the unsung heroines of the never-ending drama and psychological thriller we know as life.
These heroes may not wear capes but I can visualize a large “S” across each of their chests. They are more than Super, they are Supreme.
Mother and child I photographed at a Me Rah Ko “The Photo Mom” seminar in Bastrop, TX
The Super Hero Mothers I know and had the great honor of being raised by may not have piloted an F-18 or a Boeing 737 but they are masterfully navigating, guiding and steering their families under enormous amounts of stress, pressure and sometimes chaos.
It is these women that I deeply respect. It is to these heroes that I salute.
I thank Tammi Jo Shults and Peggy Phillips for their skills and bravery last week on Southwest flight 1380 for they have rekindled in me the passion and motivation to appreciate and recognize all the calm, steady and strong heroes in our midst.
Thanks Mom!
You Want Me to Change?
You want me to change?
What a simple but profound question to ask. What a bold request to make.
Change is hard. Change is painful. Why do I need to Change?
In the spirit of being Agile, I’d rather talk about adaptive transformation. It sounds so much more fun and interesting!
Looking back in my blog archives, I realize that I have dipped my toe into this topic a few times in articles like “A Tower of Change” and “Dying to Adapt”. I was having fun with my Tarot cards in late 2016 and the Death and Tower cards kept showing up so I reflected on them and wove them into the chaotic current events of the day. “A Matter of Perspective” and a few other articles also danced around this difficult and daunting theme.
As I watch the train wreck that has become our nation’s political discourse, I am concerned that people are losing the ability to communicate with each other. How we converse and share information has changed so rapidly and dramatically in just 10 years that it makes my head spin.
The Facebook and Twitter threads I see today make me wonder, are we able to “change” another person’s mind or position on anything?
As witnessed on social media every day, I don’t see much give and take on ideas where people disagree. I see a whole lot of confirmation bias and reinforcement of one’s existing views and values. I see many instances of digging in on positions and not much changing or adapting.
Why is it so hard to Change?
If I called you live on the phone right now and asked you to describe what change feels like, what would you say?
For me and many others the adjectives painful, stressful and uncomfortable would probably top the list.
The DailyOM blog by Madison Taylor sent me an article last week titled “Anxiety about Change”. It seems to be on the minds of many people.
Change is Difficult. No Pain, No Gain, right? Every competitive athlete understands this mantra but most people’s default setting is to take the path of least resistance. The easy way and the status quo are like a close, dysfunctional couple and breaking up is hard to do!
At work I keep hearing the words and phrases Transformation, Agile Maturity, Accelerators and Radical Change being used in the context of staying competitive and relevant in the market. Being a disruptive Change Agent is a good thing in today’s world and it is being rewarded with dollars, likes and followers. Adaptive transformation is sometimes critical to one’s survival.
If change is such an important aspect to survive in this world, why is it so hard?
Why do humans usually respond to change with the reflective impulse to resist it?
Most of our major change of life events are made easier and less stressful with rituals and ceremonies that typically involve the abundant intake of food and/or alcohol.
Think about graduation parties, weddings, bar mitzvahs, and funeral repasts. These are all times of big and scary change.
Evolve or die may seem a bit extreme but is an understood reality in our competitive business and technology world today. Remember what happened to Kodak moments and our once beloved Blackberry devices. They didn’t transform quickly enough and now they are a footnote in history.
In more tame Agile terms, the iterative process of Build, Test, Inspect and Adapt is a continuous and beautiful flow of events that occurs over and over in short time increments (sprints). This flow makes change easier since it is done is smaller chunks (think baby steps).
Playdough and Juggling Balls displaying Incremental Change
And if you fail, it is best to Fail Fast and start sprinting again.
I’ll close with the wise words of Ray Dalio from his book “Principles” where he states:
“Evolution is good because it is a process of adaption that generally moves things toward improvement.”
“The faster one appropriately adapts, the better.”
I also appreciate Mr. Dalio’s equation: Pain + Reflection = Progress
The question is: Are we ready to embrace the discomfort and potential failure so that we can change and get to a better place?
Are we open to adaptive transformations to get us to a higher level?
None of my questions have simple, easy answers but I do think that if we strive to keep our lenses clear and both eyes open like I discuss in “A View on Balance” and “A Matter of Perspective“ then perhaps we can frame our challenges in a new light and take the small, incremental steps to evolve to a different and better way.
Looking at an issue or a challenge from a completely different angle can help us adapt and evolve to improve the situation.
On the topic of changing other people’s views and opinions on Social Media – upon further reflection, I don’t see this as a reasonable or easily attainable goal and will instead focus on changing myself in the hope that others will see my values in action.
So let’s hear it for real live Adaptive Transformations!
Taken in smaller, bite-sized chunks, change doesn’t have to be so painfully hard.
Fun footnote:
The title of this blog is the chorus of this catchy tune by the group Churchill.
Click here for the fun and cool video of the song “Change”.
I listened to this tune while writing these words and it gave me additional motivation and inspiration. It greased the skids in my mind and helped me get unblocked. Maybe it can do the same thing for you.
Strong Words & Simple Truths 