Friendship

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Stand Tall, Stand Bright-  Be the Light

As the coolness of winter settles in, many holiday traditions seek to counter the shorter days and the growing darkness with symbols of light. Whether it’s with candles, fireworks, or brightly colored LEDs, our winter religious ceremonies are filled with joyous expressions to warm the soul.   Tall, strong structures are erected to display the light for all to see.  Evergreen trees and menorahs will stand bright and serve as radiant beacons and positive gathering places for communities, families, and friends to come together in a spirit of peace and good will.

Photo by cottonbro studio on Pexels.com

This tall, bright luminosity can help push out the encroaching darkness of our modern, fractured world. As our nation and local communities are less cohesive and less united under a common purpose or goal, the need for warm bonds and true, meaningful connection is more important than ever.

Menorah setup in Phoenix plaza. Photo by Steve Smull

As the world continues to face terrorism and wars, we need to stand tall and be the light.   As some members of our community face increasing levels of discrimination based on their religion or skin color, we need to stand tall and be the light against these dark forces.

Another challenge many people face during the holiday season is loneliness and isolation, which effects young and old, rich and poor.  To combat this epidemic, I encourage you to look for ways to reach out to someone with a warm and heart-felt greeting.  Take the extra effort to connect and make a positive difference in someone’s life.

Photo by Andrea Piacquadio on Pexels.com

As we look to this season of giving and light, I am reminded that the greatest gift is time.   Giving someone your time and attention is a priceless present that will brighten their day.  If you can, reach out and touch someone with a personal visit, card, or phone call.  Check in to see how they are doing and let them know you are thinking about them.  This is how we can strengthen the social fabric of our communities.

Now, more than ever, we need to share our light with others.  

May your candles burn bright.

May this holiday season fill your heart with love, your home with joy, and your life with laughter.

Happy Hanukkah

&

Merry Christmas

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Strange and Independent Things

“Freedom lies in being bold.”

– Robert Frost

I have chosen Independence Day 2022 to write about Stranger Things Season 4 for a number of reasons. 

First, the finale was big and bold, colorful and dark, intense and touching- much like our 4th of July fireworks.

Second, the themes of standing up and fighting back against bullies, tyrants and evil forces resonated with me.

Third, it reminded me of the kick-ass American spirit, strength and courage of the 1980s.

Lastly, brave heroes are important and should be recognized and respected.

I’ve written about the prior three seasons of Netflix’s popular series Stranger Things in my blog and book and I continue to enjoy the fond memories of my childhood. Being a class of 1985 graduate made me connect even more with the story and the characters of Hawkins High School class of 86. I was taken back to Friday nights spent with my girlfriends at Skateway 9 near my hometown in New Jersey. The lights, music and action of the roller rink were perfectly captured in the show and it brought back vivid memories of being bullied by the mean-girls at school who didn’t like me for some reason or another. I still had great fun with my good friends and loved the energy of disco music.

Being a fan of the band Metallica, I was especially delighted by the scene with Eddie Munson (my new favorite character) playing “Master of Puppets” on top of the trailer in the Upside Down. This character was also the Dungeon Master in the D&D games played with Dustin, Will, Lucas and Mike. In the end it was a brilliant and masterful performance by the misfit teenager who partly reminded me of Eddie Van Halen and some of the guitar-playing boys I went to high school with ( Joe Argese, Scott Janis, Craig Boschetti, John Horvath and Mike Gardner).

Speaking of music in the 1980s, I have great memories of being in the Spotswood High School Marching Band/ Color Guard. Just like in Stranger Things, we had dorky, hot and uncomfortable polyester uniforms and it didn’t stop us from having fun at the football games, local parades and other events. We even took cool bus trips to exotic places like Montreal thanks to our amazing music teachers Mr. Cohen and Mr. Milstein. I’m still in touch with many of my friends from band on Facebook and during trips back home including Ed Dougherty, Charles Kolbasowski, Steve and Carol Varga, Rose Fairchild Neliden, Stacy Remantas, and Janet Warley.

The amazing cast of strong female characters on Stranger Things continued to inspire and impress me. These women didn’t give up and gave it their all in the face of extreme pain and malevolence. I especially liked the intense powers of Eleven, the courage of Max, the ferociousness of Nancy, and the witty intelligence of Erica. These strengths and personal attributes are sorely needed in 2022. Watching Nancy expertly handle the shotgun to fight off the monsters reminded me of Linda Hamilton in Terminator 2.

Pure, unadulterated, bad-ass courage and skill by nerves of steel women- that’s what I’m talking about!

And so, these are my random, strange and independent thoughts on July 4th about Season 4 of the sci-fi hit Stranger Things.

Here are the strong and simple messages I was left with:

Keep fighting for your friends and don’t give up. 

Good will conquer evil.

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Ways to Connect

There are many ways to get your message to others.

Written words, spoken words, gestures, music, songs, drawings, photos, smoke signals, flags and sign language are methods to communicate with others.

Today, I’m experimenting with a new way to connect.

Click below for my first 30 second emoji video.

More thoughts, ideas and messages to come in this short, fun format. There are so many cool animals and avatars to choose from.

Ernie our hedgehog is ready for Spring

Below is Ernie playing shuffleboard at a VFW post in Leander, Texas.

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Now More Then Ever- The Importance of the American Legion’s Mission

In this time of Covid-19, the mission of the American Legion is more critical than ever. As the nation’s largest veterans service organization, the wide reaching programs should be increasingly mobilized to meet the members’ needs.

Two pillars of the American Legion’s mission statement stand out to me as being the most important during these challenging times:

  • Devotion to fellow service members and veterans
  • Advocating patriotism and honor

In this time of lockdowns, loneliness and isolation, we need the continued devotion to our fellow members to keep everyone’s spirits up. The health and wellbeing of millions of veterans is the focus and our selfless service to others will keep our communities strong. 

Photo by Matthias Zomer on Pexels.com

In this time of disunion and polarization, we need to be advocating positive patriotism and honor.  By rallying around a common objective we can strengthen America in its battle against the coronavirus.

Now is the time to unite around our shared values and binding symbols, the stars and stripes of the US flag. Now is the time to set aside political differences and take care of each other.

Photo by Brett Sayles on Pexels.com

The headwinds we face as a nation are great but I remain confident that we will overcome and rise to the occasion.   The United States has faced countless challenges in our 245-year history and the patriotic, generous and giving spirit of Americans won’t be shaken.

I’ll leave you with words from Johnny Cash’s song “Ragged Old Flag”: 

“In her own good land here she’s been abused 
She’s been burned, dishonored, denied, and refused

And the government for which she stands
Is scandalized throughout the land

And she’s getting threadbare and wearing thin
But she’s in good shape for the shape she’s in

‘Cause she’s been through the fire before
And I believe she can take a whole lot more

So we raise her up every morning
We take her down every night
We don’t let her touch the ground and we fold her up right

On second thought, I do like to brag
‘Cause I’m mighty proud of that ragged old flag.”

Photo by Steve Smull


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Wise Wishes: 3 Gifts for 2021

As millions of people around the world celebrate Three Kings Day and the Feast of the Epiphany on January 6th, I reflect upon the power of three.

As is written in the Bible’s Book of Matthew, three kings/wise men/magi came from the east to Bethlehem to present three gifts to a new born child named Jesus.

If you were magically granted three wishes, what would they be?

More than anything, I want the following three things for our world in 2021:

  1. Trust
  2. Courage
  3. Common Sense

These simple values are mighty and powerful and are sadly in short supply.

The global pandemic of 2020 has frayed the fabric of society’s faith and confidence in so many governments and institutions.

I pray that our world leaders, families, friends and neighbors can receive this trinity of goodness.

Trust, courage and common sense are invaluable in the face of today’s immense challenges.

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Remember the Analog

Remember the Analog!

My husband posted this clever and thought provoking statement on Facebook the other morning and it perfectly ties together the theme of this blog which has been bouncing around in my head for weeks.

When contemplating the reasons why I miss the experiences of the 1980s so much, it comes down to some pretty basic things- some simple human needs that that time satisfied for many in my generation.

I often ask,  Why do Gen Xers love the Netflix Stranger Things series  so much?.

In my first blog on the topic,  I discussed four things that the ST characters and plot exemplified:

  1. Loyalty ( close knit bonds with friends and family)
  2. Character
  3. Adventure
  4. Freedom

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Upon further reflection, I realized that these things are all analog and are supported by in-person, live connections and relationships.   In short, most analog activities make us happy.

I also discerned that my four reasons where also closely aligned to the five basic human needs outlined in William Glasser’s book “Choice Theory” which are:

  1. Survival
  2. Love and Belonging
  3. Power
  4. Fun
  5. Freedom

Choice theory psychology posits that almost all behavior is chosen and we are driven by our genes to satisfy these five basic needs.

I find myself longing for more analog activities like riding bikes, playing board games and socializing with friends because it brings me more joy and relief from the bitter and angry world of social media.

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The positive memories of growing up in the 1980s is a safe and happy shelter for many people and this is why period pieces like Stranger Things and GLOW are so popular.  Plus, the clothes and the music of the 80s were just so funky and hilarious.

For me, the feeling of being part of a group where I could have free, fun, empowering adventures was an amazingly strong and positive gift that I wish I could replicate in the world today.

So how can we get a piece of that happiness back in our lives without having a TARDIS or a flux-capacitor fitted DeLorean?

Back to the Future DeLorean Time Machine

Here are some Remember the Analog Ideas:

  1. Invite friends over to play some non-digital games-  D&D, charades, Taboo, Monopoly, Clue, Twister, Catan
  2. Go bowling
  3. Ride bikes
  4. Play musical instruments
  5. Listen to music
  6. Lie on a blanket on the ground and look at the clouds- talking about what the shapes look like
  7. Watch classic movies together-  appreciate the artful composition of the shots while noticing (sometimes laughing) at the odd (slow) pacing of the scenes
  8. Go shopping at the mall
  9. Practice group yoga on the living room floor
  10. Tell stories about hedgehogs ( Ernie asked me to add this one)
  11. Play hopscotch in the driveway
  12. Do cart wheels in the grass
  13. Bring out the crayons or pencils and color or draw
  14. Attend a Toastmaster meeting
  15. Take an Improv class
  16. Sit around a campfire and tell stories
  17. Physical love and intimacy
  18. Go to a museum
  19. Group wine and painting events
  20. Have others over for a home cooked meal

When looking at these activities through a psychological  lens- they do seem to satisfy  the human needs of Freedom, Fun, Power and Control ( with #19 & 20 clearly being for Survival).

I am a huge fan of the series Stranger Things and GLOW on Netflix and I hope that these thoughts and ideas can help bring you a bit of the fun, happiness and adventure I had growing up in the 1980s.

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Ugly Mall Job Uniforms and Other Stranger Things- Part 3

I just finished watching the final episode of Stranger Things Season 3 and Scoops Ahoy! I was not disappointed.

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Memories of my first job at the Brunswick Square Mall in central New Jersey came rushing back in full neon color.  It was 1983 and I was a Hostess at the York Steakhouse and if you can believe it, my work uniform was ten times as dorky and considerably more ugly than the sailor suits that Steve and Robin donned at the Scoops Ahoy Ice Cream Parlor in the Starcourt Mall.  My lovely restaurant server wear was a heinous burnt orange, one-piece polyester dress with puke yellow trim.  It was cut above the knee and was a remnant from a bad 1975 style.  Oh how I sympathized with Steve and his silly sailor’s cap.

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J_ojI do have many positive memories of my childhood at the local mall and some of them actually include the color orange.   My favorite all time dessert drink is the Orange Julius and the show had me craving it and a big, warm chocolate cookie in the worst way.

In the first few episodes of Stranger Things Season 3, the scenes in the mall were fun, campy and true to most of my memories.  I don’t recall my mall being as crowded in the summer months because most of us in were playing outside or down the shore.

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Growing up, our mall’s anchor stores were Bamberger’s and JC Penney and I spent many hours in The Children’s Place, The Gap and at the Piercing Pagoda were I got my ears pierced at age nine.  I was encouraged to wear earrings because my haircut at the time was very short (a failed attempt at the “Dorothy Hamill look”) and my sister didn’t want people to mistake me for a boy.   I, like Max in Stranger Things, was a bit of a tomboy and I didn’t like to dress up in frilly clothes.  I spent many fun and unsupervised hours in the early 1980s riding either my skateboard, my Huffy ten speed bike or my Schwinn unicycle.  Riding bikes with my friends topped the list as my all time favorite thing to do.

While there were many threads and plots in the rich and complex Season 3, the overarching theme that resonated with me most was the strength and unshakable power of the friendship bonds among the characters.  Even though they were all were changing and growing in strange new ways, they never stopped caring about each other.  Even though they were often confused and upset with each other’s words and actions, they never gave up and never stopped fighting or sacrificing for one another.  That’s what I remember about my friends and family in the 80s- a strong sense of loyalty, honor and integrity.   

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The bold, stark and often comical contrasts of many of the scenes had my emotions shifting faster than the bumper cars at the fun fair carnival.

In all, it was an action-packed storyline with a strong and emotional ending.   No spoilers here!

The other fun and random things I enjoyed about ST Season 3 include:

  • Dustin going to Science camp was totally awesome as I was fellow nerd who as part of the Science League at High School and attended string music camp with my cello for a week each August.
  • The budding romance of El and Mike and the demand from Hopper to keep the bedroom door open 3 inches.
  • The community pool antics, the aviator and Ray-Ban sunglasses and the big hair and blue eye shadow of the fawning ladies in the chaise lounges.farrells_mustache_bp
  • Fond memories of hanging out at the mall with friends and going to Spencer Gifts just to look at the stupid toys, stuffed animals and posters. For me, the mall was also the special place to go to eat large quantities of ice cream at a place called Farrell’s.

 

  • The rise of Girl Power and strong, smart female characters. Nancy, Robin, Joyce, Max and Erica (Caleb’s sassy little sister) all showed the boys a thing or two.  I also admired the technical prowess of Dustin’s elusive girlfriend Susie who knew Planck’s number by heart.
  • The understanding and acknowledgement that cherry Slurpees are the best and only flavor worth having.
  • 10-4 good buddy! What’s your 20? I loved the CB lingo on Dustin’s ham radio and the boys’ walkie-talkies.
  • Being a Nerd is cool and often helpful in killing the large, hungry monsters.
  • The hilarious clothes shopping spree with El and Max was just like I remember doing with my girl friends. I did own a pair of yellow pants with attached suspenders and a shirt very similar to Nancy’s purple blouse with the square cutouts at the top.
  • The nods to countless cool movies of the time like The Terminator, Back to the Future, Red Dawn, The Shining and ET.
  • A common bad guy/enemy in the Russians. Memories of Rocky 4 and the way Sylvester Stallone kicked butt in the ring with the hulking, blonde Dolph Lundgren.
  • The realization that I didn’t like New Coke and don’t know what all the fuss was about.
  • Banana boat ice cream sundaes.
  • Billy’s haircut was spot on for some of the boys I remember from my high school’s class of 1984 and 85.
  • The music from the mid 80s:  Corey Hart- “Never Surrender”, REO Speedwagon- “I can’t fight this feeling”, John Cougar Mellencamp- “R.O.C.K in the USA”, Motley Crue- Home Sweet Home” ( played in the Season 3 trailer).
  • The cars, the cars, the cars! My family, friends and classmates all had some version or another of some of the vehicles featured in season 3 including the clunky and hulking Ford LTD, the sturdy Chevy Blazer, the sexy 1979 Camaro and the beautiful, butter-cream yellow 1984 Cadillac Eldorado.

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Scoops Ahoy!  I can’t wait for Season 4.

 

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My Compelling Blog: Part 4 (JKL)

Life is a crazy rollercoaster and sometimes you just have to laugh at the absolute insanity of it all.

This is why Part 4 of my compelling blog features the phrase “Just Keep Laughing”  for the letters JKL.   I thought this was more helpful and inspirational than “Just Kidding Loser” or worse yet, the dreaded “Just Kidding LOL”.  Is it just me or do you find LOL to be annoying?

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My Mom’s favorite express was “Live, Love, Laugh” and I always admired her warm smile and jolly laugh. She had a tough life with many challenges but she never let it get her down.

So when the crazy/mean/rude/obnoxious people in this world start making you feel like your head is going to explode, remember Just Keep Laughing!

Plus, as an added bonus, laughing has many health benefits for you, including:

  1. Reduces stress hormone levels
  2. Triggers the release of endorphins
  3. Increases your creativity
  4. Works your abs
  5. Boosts your immune system
  6. Lowers blood pressure
  7. Reduces anxiety
  8. Relaxes you and calms your mood

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Photo by Steve Smull

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The White Elephant in the Room

Eat, drink and be merry for it may just save your life. 

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I was happy to attend a festive holiday party with my Ahwatukee Toastmaster friends last week and little did I realize that it was supporting an anti-cancer lifestyle.

 

The annual white elephant gift exchange is a lively and often hilarious tradition at many Toastmaster year-end gatherings and this one did not disappoint.  The devious antics played out and the most “stolen” gifts were a Ruth Bader Ginsburg action figure and a particular plunger of questionable origin ( new, with tag).

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The biggest gift of the evening came to me a few hours after the party, while I was reading in bed. While scrolling through notification messages on Facebook, I noticed an interesting article posted by my good friend Nancy in Texas.  I clicked on the story and dove into an intriguing piece written by Dr. Lorenzo Cohen, a Houston based Professor and Researcher who introduced the “Mix of Six” as a way to reduce ones risk of developing cancer.

At this point you may be wondering, is the mix of six some new drink recipe?

No, it’s not the latest libation trend but rather group of factors and lifestyle choices which, when combined, can radically transform health and delay or prevent many cancers.

The Mix of Six factors include:

  1. Social and Emotional Support
  2. Stress Management
  3. Sleep
  4. Physical activity
  5. Diet
  6. Environmental toxins

The bonus is that the fun, laughter and social connectedness I enjoyed from the joyous Toastmaster event was supporting my health in ways I never imagined (plus the food, especially the homemade samosas, was delicious).

Bottom line: Emotional support and fellowship is the best medicine for combating loneliness and illness.

The White Elephant in the room could be your best Doctor!

But wait, there’s more!

Research shows that having a strong circle of positive, supportive family and friends helps with stress management which in turn helps with sleep.  It’s like getting a 3 for 1 deal toward your the magical mix of six.

Warning:  Overstuffing on holiday food and drink can be can be slippery slope and should be enjoyed in moderation.  

So be present and give yourself the gift of health this holiday season.   Enjoy connecting with others in the light heartened spirit of sharing, laughing and sometimes “stealing” a white elephant gift!

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Festive gatherings and silly, zany gift exchanges are a fun and wonderful way to share in a circle of wellness and jolly goodwill.

So eat, drink and be merry for it may just save your life.

Happy Mix of Six!