Mom

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Memories of Mom

For those whose mothers are no longer living on this earth, do you ever wonder what she would think about our world today? I often think about how my mom would react to my decisions and current situation. What advice would our mothers give us if they were sitting next to us right now?

It’s been almost 24 years since my sweet Mom passed away from lung cancer and Mother’s Day is always one of the saddest days of the year for me.

The best thing I can do is honor my Mom’s memory by doing and saying things that I know she would appreciate and be proud of. Striving to emulate her values with my actions.

Virginia Mary was born during the Great Depression and had a strong, spunky spirit and an infectious smile. She was extremely generous with her time and limited money and always rooted for and lent a helping hand to the underdog. Virginia was kind, jovial and optimistic. Her friends called her Ginny and I called her Mom.

One of my Mom’s favorite sayings was “Live, Love, Laugh” and that was how she lived her life. I never heard her complain or speak poorly of others, She was stoic when she was sick and cared more about taking care of the needs of others than she did for herself.

My Mom was hearing impaired since childhood and wore hearing aids which I don’t think helped her much. She was good at reading lips, body language, and expressions. She loved to read mystery books and write letters to her family. I am so happy to have a stack of letters she wrote to me during the early 1990s when I was in the Army and deployed in Saudi Arabia. This was the best way to communicate with her and they mean the world to me now.

Mom was not one to give unsolicited advice but if you asked she would give her simple and wise opinion. She didn’t use big words but she had large and important ideas, lessons, and experiences to share.

I’d like to imagine that if my Mom were sitting next to me right now, she would encourage me to lighten up and enjoy the small, good things that life has to offer. She would remind me to relax and slow down and look before I leaped. She would smile and tell me to be kind to others and volunteer to help the needy and underprivileged. Virginia Mary was an amazing and strong woman who inspired me to serve my country, my family, and my community. She is one of the main reasons why I became so active and engaged with the American Legion (all 4 of her brothers served in the U.S. military in WWII). The way she lived and loved and laughed in the face of adversity were key examples for me and helped shape who I am today.

My yoga instructor shared this quote below after class yesterday and it made be think of my Mom.

“If you want light to come into your life then you need to stand where it’s shining.” – Guy Finley

Happy Mother’s Day in heaven Mom!

Your values live on in the actions of your children, your friends and everyone who had the honor of knowing you.

Thanks for the great advice today.

My Mom and I at Ft Gordon, GA in 1989.

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Calm, Steady and Flying Strong

I cautiously boarded a Southwest Airlines flight from Austin to Phoenix last Thursday, two days after the horrific engine failure that took the life of Jennifer Riordan, a bank executive and mother of two.   I quickly found myself a window seat like a normally do but this one was the second row, much closer to the front of the plane than I usually get.  I guess more people were choosing aisle seats that week.

The story of the dramatic emergency landing by Navy veteran Tammi Jo Shults captured my attention and made me reflect on what it means to be a hero. 

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A gift from Angie. Photo by Steve.

The news of the tragic event hit home for me since I have been flying on Southwest in window seats overlooking the engine numerous times this year.   The details of how the plane was forced to make a harrowing and rapid descent after one of the engines exploded in midair was chilling to say the least.

Hero is a word that gets used a lot in the news today and is often associated with masculine acts of strength and bravery.   Stereotypes and Google images bring up muscled men with capes.

Stereotypes Shattered in desert wars and at 30,000 feet

My experience and observations on the battlefield during the first Persian Gulf war were that the women Army officers and non-commissioned officers (NCOs) I served with in the US Amy were rocks-  strong and solid leaders who were calm under pressure and seemingly less agitated than their male counterparts.

Last week, I was most impressed by the calm and collected voice of Southwest Captain Tammi Jo in comparison to the stressed and strained vocals of the man communicating with her from Air Traffic Control.  The former F-18 fighter pilot was composed, steady and in control of the situation.  Her skill, professionalism and “nerves of steel” were recorded for everyone to hear and I loved it!

And then there was Peggy Phillips, the confidence and self-assured Registered Nurse who performed over 20 minutes of CPR on the battered and severely injured Jennifer Riordan.  There was no question, no hesitation- Peggy just launched into action doing what she was trained to do.

When praised and called heroes these woman replied that they were “simply doing their jobs”. These women were doing what they were trained to do, performing at the high standard they set for themselves.

Yes, Tammi Jo and Peggy did their jobs that day with the strength and the skill of true professionals.   True heroines who were calm and steady and refreshingly humble.

Imagine a world without heroes.   I can’t because I know too many strong, capable women.  Women who are Mothers and above all else love, support and nurture their children. Women who make sacrifices to give their families the best that they can.

The Mothers I know may not be piloting a plane in an emergency landing but day in and day out they work their asses off and make a positive difference in their kid’s lives.  Just like my Mom did for me and my siblings.

Mothers are Heroes.  Women like my Mom, Virginia; my sister, Barbara; my niece, Heather; my sisters-in-law, Shanon and Katie and my dear friends Andrea and Marie.  They all have and continue to impress me.

They are the unsung heroines of the never-ending drama and psychological thriller we know as life.

These heroes may not wear capes but I can visualize a large “S” across each of their chests.    They are more than Super, they are Supreme.

MotherwithChild

Mother and child I photographed at a Me Rah Ko “The Photo Mom” seminar in Bastrop, TX

The Super Hero Mothers I know and had the great honor of being raised by may not have piloted an F-18 or a Boeing 737 but they are masterfully navigating, guiding and steering their families under enormous amounts of stress, pressure and sometimes chaos.

It is these women that I deeply respect.  It is to these heroes that I salute.

I thank Tammi Jo Shults and Peggy Phillips for their skills and bravery last week on Southwest flight 1380 for they have rekindled in me the passion and motivation to appreciate and recognize all the calm, steady and strong heroes in our midst.

Thanks Mom!